Something Special is Brewing

This crazy time of staying home and social distancing has definitely changed how we live, work and play. However, it hasn’t diminished the passion that we have for serving our clients, families and students. We’ve been working on something very exciting… and we can’t wait to spill the beans!

One of the biggest challenges we face in our PACE transitional program efforts is finding appropriate vocational experiences for our students. We are so thankful to the local businesses and organizations who have partnered with us to provide opportunities for our students to work. However, even when we are blessed to find placements for students to work, it can be challenging for our staff to transport students from job site to job site across the four-county area providing the necessary job coaching support. Additionally, when a student ages out of our PACE program we are no longer able to provide the much needed guidance our families often need.

To that end, we are finalizing plans to open our own career center this fall. This facility will offer many different vocational opportunities for our students… all under one roof. It will also be a place where our students can continue working even after they graduate from NHA. The building will feature labs and classrooms for vocational training. It will be available to the community for individuals and businesses to rent for weddings, conferences and special events. The most exciting aspect of this facility is that it will feature a fully functioning coffee and pastry shop with a drive-up window!

Our plan is to source fair trade coffee beans and roast our own delicious blends of coffee in-house, providing amazing vocational opportunities for our students… including roasting, packaging, shipping and stocking. From food preparation to catering… cleaning services to facility setup and tear down… we are so excited for the exciting opportunities that this facility will provide!

Stay tuned for additional information as it becomes available!

Don’t Worry. Be Healthy.

For most of us, we are going though one of most, if not the most, crazy, disruptive times of our entire lives. Our jobs, homes, schools and families are hanging in limbo, suspended in uncertainty. What are we to do?

Have you lost sleep worrying about what could happen? Has worrying and stress about these uncertain times interrupted your life? Your day? Your family? Your mood?

If you answered “yes”, rest assured you’re not alone.

Worry and stress happen to all of us, particularly when it comes to events, people, and things that are important to us. The trouble with worry is it is a complete waste of our valuable time and energy. We all know that… yet we still worry.

“Worry is the advanced interest we pay on troubles that seldom come.”

Worry and stress are huge risks we face. And they’re not healthy. The list of damage that worry can do, because of the biology of stress, is long and scary.

Worry (feeling threatened to any degree) is stress. It sets off a fight or flight survival response, which triggers all sorts of physiological changes in our bodies. The systems more important for immediate survival, like blood pressure and heart rate to circulate more energy throughout the body, get turned up, and the ones not so important for immediate survival, like our immune system or digestion, get turned down.

Persistently elevated blood pressure and heart rate raises your risk of cardiovascular disease.
A depressed immune system makes it harder for your body to fight off all sorts of diseases, or battle them once you do get sick.
Stress reduces the protective fluids in the lining of the digestive system exacerbating the risk and severity of ulcers and other digestive disorders.
Stress changes blood chemistry, and if persistent, those changes raise your risk of diabetes.
Those chemistry changes are also why chronic stress is associated with greater likelihood of clinical depression.
Chronic stress impairs the formation of new fast-growing cells, like bone, and hair.
Chronic stress reduces your ability to form some new memories, and recall others.

Consider the following words from the apostle Paul, who was writing under very difficult circumstances. He was under house arrest. There was the possibility that he might be acquitted, or he might be beheaded. He didn’t know what his future held. Yet he gave us some of the most inspiring words found in scripture: “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God” (Philippians 4:4-6).

Paul wasn’t sitting in some plush resort, writing motivational texts. He was not lounging on some beach, sampling delicious foods and wines. This was a man who was incarcerated, waiting on a verdict that could literally mean life or death. Yet he was somehow able to say, “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice!”

“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.”

Many of us have been experiencing some pretty significant physical, emotional and spiritual challenges the past few weeks.

In Psalm 23, David speaks of how God is with us, even when we go through trials or valleys in our lives: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me”.

Like Paul, David was no stranger to calamity and hardship. This was a man who knew what it was like to suffer. He knew what it was like to face difficulties. He had been hunted like a wild animal by King Saul, even after being anointed as the next king of Israel by the prophet Samuel.

When David brings us this and other psalms, he candidly speaks of his own shortcomings, weaknesses, and questions he faced in life. Psalm 23 came from a man who knew what it was like to need God’s help.

We all go through those valleys in life, those hard times. Whatever valley it is, remember this: You are not alone. That is God’s great promise to the believer.

Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

The next time you are gripped by fear and worry, the next time you start thinking, “What if this happens? What if that happens?” turn it into a prayer. Look to Jesus and trust Him give you His peace.

Family Resource Corner ~ January 2019

Each quarter, we hope to provide valuable information to families about places to turn when you are looking for a little extra help.

Autism Care Today provides funding assistance to families throughout the United States on a quarterly basis. These grants are designed to provide access to individuals and families affected by Autism Spectrum Disorders. Since 2005, Autism Care Today has helped more than 1,500 families and provided more than $1.75 million in grants.

This family grant program provides assistence for assessments, treatments, and life supports that may not otherwise be covered privately or by other third-party funding sources such as school districts, county programs, insurance, and/or other grant making entities.

Open enrollment for the family grant requests for the first quarter of 2019 are being accepted through the end of January.

APPLY ONLINE

Hope in the Midst of Life ~ October 2018

Marking Time

It’s my favorite season of the year; cool crisp nights and chilly mornings with warm golden sunshine in the afternoons. It also means beautiful colors and warm sweatshirts, and children starting another year of school.

The school year means reorganizing schedules and marking time. It’s an interesting concept, this “marking time”. We pack bags with supplies for the year ahead and we often are forced to get new clothes because the kids have grown. Many families take pictures on the first day of school, and schools often have a picture day. These things we do each year are ways of marking time. I invite you to consider how your family marks time?

When I was young, I heard older people talk about having regrets. Regrets?!!! Well I was going to live my life in ways that would guarantee me none of that! The other reoccurring message I heard was always about enjoying “your children now, because they will be grown before you know it!” One of my parenting goals became never being able to say that I could have held my children more. Countless times I sat with my babies in my arms breathing the moment in deeply, trying with great desperation, to create memories that would still be strong when they were all grown up. I did that one thing with no regrets. But … If you’d ask if I have regrets – even though I have lived my life always working on NOT having them – I’d have to say I have many. Most of them come from wishing “I knew then, what I know now” – as they say.

If I knew then what I know now, we would have celebrated more! Oh, don’t get me wrong, we celebrated! But I would have made an even bigger deal of all the good things, and we would have celebrated surviving the difficulties in ways that would mark that we made it, with more hoopla and joy. What marks events and accomplishments in your family? What marks surviving in your family? The great news is, it can be whatever you want it to be! You can have a meal, you can give a gift, you can write a note, you can take a trip. These things sound like they could take a lot of effort and a lot of money, and they could. But another thing I have learned is – it is not big events that make our lives truly happy. It is the things we do regularly with people we love, that make our lives happy and joyous. This starts to sound like “tradition” to me.

It is in tradition that we find comfort. Tradition is how we all mark time. When my own children were young and one of them had a hard day, we would often go to the reservoir and skip stones. That option to go skip stones when things weren’t great was a joy making tradition. It marked that day with something we could do to feel better and celebrated that we had survived. We usually ended up talking in the process!! That is just one example.

So this fall, consider how you mark time and the traditions you have. Maybe you would want to ponder about regrets, and not having more of them. One of these nights, maybe at a campfire, or over a cup of hot chocolate or cider, consider making a plan for celebrating more joy moments in your life with family traditions. You won’t regret those times you mark and you will make a treasure of memories for your children.

Janet Miller MA LPCC

Hope in the Midst of Life ~ July 2018

Simple Decisions that have Significant Impact on Caregiving

School is out!! Yeah!! Welcome to summer… and routine changes. (Deep breath!) As we know, changing “normal” can be challenging, for all of us. Sometimes this is especially challenging for caregivers! The decisions we make about those changes and what “normal” is, can have profound effects on the quality of our lives and the ease or difficulty of our caregiving situations.

Currently, I find myself making decisions about paint colors, and I am reminded of some effects of color. Red (and colors close to it on the color wheel) is extremely stimulating and exciting. As a counselor I know that the LAST color I want my office to be is red, especially for the children I see. If I have an appointment with a child that day, I will never choose to wear red. Instead, lavender and soft blues and greens effect our brains in ways that make us all feel much calmer with more clarity of thinking. It’s a simple thing really, that the colors of the environment effect behaviors and emotions of all of us, especially children. How calm are the colors in your environment?

Another very helpful plan is exercise. How much exercise are we getting? We all know that exercise will help us manage stress. We caregivers also have to consider, how much exercise the person we are taking care of, is getting! It is easy to stay inside and watch TV. But summer is a fantastic time to be outside. Just consider early morning or evening if the days are too warm for your workout or theirs.

Speaking of “outside”… research is now talking about “grounding” or “earthing” as something to help our bodies be calmer and healthier. Grounding is simply spending some time (preferably daily) outside barefoot or sitting on the ground. Research is also finding this is beneficial for inflammation, immune responses, wound healing, and chronic autoimmune diseases. Who knew getting your feet or hands dirty in the garden or yard is so healthy?!

There is always a long list of what we “should” be doing. But another thing that is very exciting to me is nutrition! A study at Arizona State University was just published that says they have proven that nutrition and dietary intervention IS effective at improving “symptoms, cognition, digestive health, and behavior” in individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorders! You can read about it at www.nourishinghope.com. (Nourishing Hope also has all sorts of information related to this.) The simple first focus would be on quality, chemically free vegetables and fruit. The study has many other things it considered, and even uses Epson salt baths. Also consider and decreasing sugar and high fructose corn syrup.

To think that I can make a significant difference in my caregiving duties by the colors I wear and the colors in the environment, by exercise (mine and theirs), going barefoot and sitting on the ground, and by the food I eat and I serve… Amazing!!

Enjoy summer and may the “new normal” be joyous!

Janet Miller MA LPCC

Hope in the Midst of Life ~ April 2018

If You’re a Caregiver, Remember It’s OK to Ask for Help.

If You Know a Caregiver, Offer to Help!

If you’ve ever tried to offer a caregiver a hand, you’ve probably found that it is very hard for him or her to accept help or assistance. Nurturers by nature are used to offering help and support, but they really struggle when they find themselves on the receiving end. Most caregivers don’t want to bother anyone, put anyone out, or seem like they can’t handle everything on their own; so even when people willingly offer to help, they have a natural tendency to smile and politely decline the help. But that doesn’t mean you should stop trying to help.

Here are six things you can do to bring a smile to the face of a caregiver in your life.

Caregivers WANT to be remembered even if they have been caregiving for years. Over that time, friends often quit calling or stopping by, so CALL. Call just to see how they are doing or if they need anything. Let them know you haven’t forgotten them and still care! It will mean the world to them.
Spring is just around the corner. Offer to plant some flowers to brighten your friend’s yard and day.
Remember your friend’s birthday, as well as their loved one’s special day with a card or cake.
Have you ever heard your friend mention any household “fix it” jobs that are screaming for attention? Maybe you and a few others can pitch in to help with it or hire a handyman for an afternoon.
The next time that you’re cooking a meal, double the recipe, and share it with your friend. Give him or her a night off of cooking, but please be sure to take any special dietary needs into consideration.
Holidays in general can be tough; so a special pie, cake, cookies, decorations, or even a small seedling can bring a lot of joy for Earth Day, Arbor Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s, or even the Fourth of July.

These are just a few things you can do for the caregiver in your life. There are lots of other things, so be creative! But please remind them to take care of themselves. Knowing that someone is thinking of them during a difficult time can make all the difference in the world!

Never underestimate the power of a kind word or a caring gesture! No matter how simple, it will make a difference!

Hope in the Midst of Life ~ January 2018

Sometimes the simplest things are the best. The world can be very complicated, and I am sure that is true in trying to help children with challenges, but let’s talk about a simple thing that does some of the most powerful helping ever…

First you need to know that a popular thing to study right now in emotional health is “TRAUMA”. Trauma changes how we function. We all know “trauma” is something in life that is awful. When most of us hear that word we think of the most horrible things we can imagine. But there are three kinds of trauma. The first is things that are in your life that shouldn’t be. This might be an event that happened, like abuse. The second kind of trauma is things that are absent from your life that should have been there. This is very interesting, because this is not just the awful picture of a child that is neglected and not fed enough. But it can be as “simple” as “When I was ten, nobody responded to me as I thought they should.” What that last statement means is – we all have trauma whether or not we have experienced a horrific incident or neglect. There is one more way we experience trauma. This is through rumination. Dr. Caroline Leaf says that rumination is continuing to dwell on and on about something that is not positive. She says this causes the same physical and emotion effects as the first two types of trauma! Our brain changes the same way from the “big” things as it does the “smaller” things.

So there are many ways to be traumatized, and the reality is – we all have been traumatized in varying degrees. So why is this important? This matters because we react and respond to the world around us through the lens of trauma thinking. Which, simply put, is not positive, and we’re often sorry about it later.

But the great news is… there are many things we can do to heal! One of the most significant and simplest is to help the “joy center” of our brains grow. Behind your right eye is the right orbital pre-frontal cortex – your “joy center”. This is the only place in your brain that continues to have the potential to grow throughout your entire life!

Typically when we think of things that “make us better”… they might not taste good, or they take a whole lot of effort and often aren’t very fun. But the joy center is a very different story! Remember how it is to look into a baby or toddler’s eyes that is happy to be with you! That twinkle, that joy, is what we all need!

Let me explain. If my husband walks into the room where our grandson is, our grandson lights up and is just delighted to see his grandpa, and grandpa is delighted to see him. What happens when their eyes meet is more than just that “twinkle”. A joy message goes back and forth between them at the rate of six times per second and every time it moves from person to person their joy centers increase their stored joy.

When a baby cries, an adult helps the baby by feeding or changing him and talking to him. This is teaching that baby that it is possible to return from pain to joy. Every time that baby experiences this, his joy strength grows as well. This is very important because we can only cope with pain / trauma if we have more joy than we have pain.

What I am telling you is one of the best “simple things” ever! By helping little people, and not so little people, learn that it is possible to return from pain to joy – their joy strength grows. In addition, being “happy to be with”… someone… and looking in their eyes with delight to be with them, causes joy strength to grow. The greater joy strength every person has, the better each one copes with pain.

So cherish the simple things. Go and smile and look in the eyes of someone and be happy to be with them. You will not only help them cope with pain whenever it comes, but you will be helping yourself as well!

Janet Miller MA LPCC

How Bullying Shaped My Life

Every October, schools and organizations across the country observe National Bullying Prevention Month. The goal is to encourage communities to work together to stop bullying and cyberbullying by increasing awareness of the prevalence and impact of bullying on children of all ages.

There is a very fine line between teasing and bullying. How do help children be aware of the difference and how it impacts those around them? Below is a story written by one of our students and submitted to the university she is taking college credit courses at explaining how bullying has shaped her life.

How Bullying Shaped My Life

Like a ferocious dog with a bone, my teacher, Snape*, yelled, “You are the most selfish person I have ever met, and you will never be happy in life!” As I burst into tears, the whole class stared in shock. I never understood why I was so different and socially awkward. I just knew I was. I ran to the dark locker room in shame, feeling like a half-eaten sandwich at the bottom of the trash can. This was just the beginning of what would be a horrific three years of middle school at Durmstrang*. Bullying affected my life, the way I treat people, and the way I view myself.

In sixth grade, the whole class went to camp for three days and little did I know that this would be the worst camping experience of my life. I was in the same cabin as the girls who would torment me, but at the time, I thought they were my friends. Every day, I would wake up and not be sure if we were really friends. This uncertainty made me feel like I did not deserve friends. Upon returning from camp I went to my room and cried. Sometimes, the girls I thought were my friends would treat me right and I would fall right back into their trap. They would come up to me and say, ” I am so glad we are friends.” “Do you want to come to my house on Friday.” I would agree only to be made fun of for the evening. One day, Malfoy* decided I was only good enough for her if I had something to offer. I usually had homemade cookies and brownies to share, but on this day, I didn’t. I was thrown aside like yesterday’s newspaper. The other girls were terrified of being targeted by her so they agreed with her and made me feel isolated and alone.

Another traumatic experience was the time I went to Goyle’s* house. We were talking and laughing. Suddenly, in the middle of a story, she said, “Hey Shirley, don’t get offended but you need to control your ADHD better.” I could not believe she would say something like that. I felt as though I wasn’t doing a good job at fitting in, even with my closest friends.

The behavior of my peers may seem hard to believe but, you haven’t heard anything yet. Imagine feeling socially awkward during conversations with friends and being turned against in a moment’s notice. This happened the first time I got my period. I was participating in track practice when all of a sudden I thought, “Oh no! I need to go to the bathroom.” I waited in the bathroom until someone came in to check on me. When someone finally came in I asked, “Hey, can you get me either a pad or tampon.?” The girl went and got me both and said, “Congratulations!” After I finished getting cleaned up, I went into the gym and Malfoy announced to the whole track team including the boys, “Shirley just got her first period!” This made me feel like a bumblebee on a cold winter night. I couldn’t understand why someone would do that.

All of this bullying made me fall into deep depression, and I frequently thought, “I want to die.” This feeling of hopelessness and despair went on for years. I remember crying to my mom about how I felt different and knew something was wrong with me. My mother would say, “Those girls don’t deserve you.” These feelings and thoughts led to many doctor’s appointments. When I was in seventh grade, I finally found the answer. I was diagnosed with Asperger’s, a form of Autism. After learning more about Asperger’s, I thought, “Finally, it makes sense. This is why I am so different.” I was angry and upset with God that he made me this way. If he loved me why couldn’t he make me normal? The icing on the cake came when my mom wanted me to go to a school for kids with disabilities. I was appalled because I wanted to be normal. We fought for a year, neither of us giving in. I continued to go to school where I was bullied and not receiving the accommodations I needed. And I was miserable! One day, I finally realized that I deserve to be happy and I had enough.

In eighth grade I started at New Horizons Academy (N.H.A.). As their mission statements say they “offer a holistic, all-encompassing educational path for kids with special needs”. The transition was rough because I didn’t keep in touch with anyone from Durmstrang. I was thrown into a new environment with no connections to my past. This journey to the unknown was very scary. With not knowing anybody at N.H.A., I felt less lonely than all my years at Durmstrang. I was with people like me, and my teachers were equipped to educate kids with disabilities.

At N.H.A., there is a no tolerance bullying policy and teachers that actually enforce it. At Durmstrang, teachers would say they would do something about it, and then nothing would ever happen. When Snape said those things to me, I told Principal Umbridge*, and he said he would take care of it. However, no action was ever taken against Snape. That made me feel like a Hawaiian pizza which is disgusting and wrong! In all seriousness, I felt like I was the one who was in trouble and that I was the one who was wrong and not the teacher who failed his job at being a positive role model. That made me feel like crap!

When I was younger, I wanted to be an actress/dolphin trainer/dress designer. I, now however, see that the correct career path for me is to be a special education teacher. I came to this realization when I was volunteering in the preschool classrooms. I chose to volunteer in those classrooms, because I have always had a passion for helping little kids. I never knew how good I was with special education kids. Unlike Snape, I am patient, kind, and understanding. For example, one day while I was volunteering in the preschool class Collin* got upset and was hitting people and throwing things. I was afraid he might hurt someone, so I took all of the kids out of the classroom and calmed them down. We played with the rubber cows, which you sit on and bounce around on. I was kind and understanding when it came to why Collin was throwing a fit, and I listened to how the kids felt. I wish that Snap had treated me with the same kindness and understanding at Durmstrang.

He may not have known it, but he left a lasting impression on me and how I treat others. I know that I never want to be like him. Some lessons you learn directly, and some lessons you learn through other people. I learned many lessons at both Durmstrang and New Horizons Academy. Some were positive, and some were negative, but both shaped me and made me who I am today. I am an advocate for those in need, and I will always try to be better than I was the day before. Bullying was and is a huge influence in how I treat people and how I view myself.

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the guilty.

Hope in the Midst of Life ~ October 2017

“You’re Gonna Miss This”

It is so easy to get caught up in the details of the day. The hustle and bustle of “getting there” and “doing this” and “getting that done” sure makes life challenging. So when “I need this,” or “Please, can you help me?” … get thrown in, “challenging” starts to be “this might be crazy”. Those of us who help others who can’t help themselves, also know things like “I HAVE to do this for ____”, “He can’t do it, so I need to” and “Who will do this if I don’t?” – come up in our heads with so much regularity we sometimes think we can’t do it all. Life gets so busy! Just remembering to buy toothpaste, and wash enough underwear for the week become significant accomplishments! Not just getting through the week, but getting through the day, becomes the goal. And then we wake up and start over.

An article appeared in my inbox today. It listed “7 songs that are so happy you will cry” or something like that. So I pulled them up, one at a time on You Tube. I cried. I cried in gratitude for the blessings. I also cried in the grief of missing the times of those particular blessings. And I cried because even though many days I tried to pause and stop time; you know, to look around and take a deep breath and breathe in the moment to burn it forever in my memory… the sights and sounds and smells… because I knew it was all going too fast. Well I am here to tell you – that even though I did that – it went too fast. The details in my day… mostly the things I saw as problems; you know, the deadlines and lists and needs – got in my way of just being thrilled in each moment… and even thankful for the challenges.

As I write this – I am aware that this sounds cliché. We all know time goes fast and yet so many times I have let the “busy” and the “necessary” keep me distracted from the faces in front of me. But lately I see something more… I see people giving their focus to screens instead of faces. I am not saying screens are bad. They are a great way to communicate. But screen time gets in the way of real – face time.

Not to recognize the challenges, and the things that need to be done, might mean that we are not responsible. Oh but to be free enough from those lists and needs, to breathe life in and laugh with joy … and choose the fun thing on a regular basis! The dishes will still be there and somehow the underwear will get washed… Oh the delight in that! And perhaps I am alive even if I don’t read about it on Facebook. I am reminded of statistics I read recently. It turns out that life is not about the big events – the grand vacation to distant lands, and the expensive dinner out. The people who are the happiest – are focused on the little moments of each day. They don’t miss the important little things because of lists; they LIVE in each moment. What is more – they aren’t just bodily present while focused on a screen. They are focused on the real eyes and hearts right in front of them.

I know this is easier said than done… But what would your life and your family be like, if you stopped the business? What if you put your phone down and turned the TV off and you danced in the kitchen with your spouse, or your child? (In whatever way that you dance when nobody else is watching.) What if you began to sing like nobody was listening… you know, from your heart? What if you stopped long enough to listen until those you love had shared all they keep inside because nobody has had the time to hear? What if your life wasn’t about posting on a screen… but celebrating and laughing with those beside you who need not only your physical presence but your attention so desperately?

What if you could live today, right now, in a way that caused you to not only breathe life in and burn the memory into your heart forever, but let you feel the warmth of your loved ones’ presence? AND what if you could PLAY? You know – actually have FUN! Remember the last time you laughed so hard your sides ached and you nearly wet your pants?

Yes, we have to be responsible, especially if we are helping those who can’t help themselves. But what if we could focus on them and not the lists, or screens?

You might take some time to pull some songs up. Listen, and put aside the lists for a while… and then put the screen down and LIVE… because believe it not – “You are going to miss this.” Make this day the memory you want it to be.

“You’re Gonna Miss This” by Trace Adkins
“You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban
“Live Like You Were Dying” by Tim McGraw
“Home” by Phillip Phillips
“100 Years” by Five for Fighting
“Blessed” by Martina McBride
“I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack
… and so many others.

Janet Miller MA LPCC

Hope in the Midst of Life ~ July 2017

Welcome summer! For many of us, the “weather report” is… hot and sunny with lots of busy young people at home!

I hope this finds you on-purpose, setting some time aside from business and slowing down to be together! Maybe it is a picnic, or just playing catch in the yard or going for a hike or a bike ride.

Perhaps your dream of summer is something like mine… hot, slow and maybe sometimes lazy days of little structure and lots of fun! But what I know is that many people see it differently. Instead of being thrilled to have the “problem” of what to do with the kids… it is more of “another worry”. This, added to an already full plate, can be very challenging.

When I say “worry”, it reminds me of a report I just read that says “anxiety is now the number one mental health problem instead of depression”. Anxiety is characterized by a constant and overwhelming worry and fear, and it is now 800% more prevalent than all forms of cancer. (Mercola) That’s a whole lot of worry!!

Depending what you read, you will find many things listed as the cause; from social media and pressures to succeed, eating too much sugar, dyes and chemicals, not having a healthy gut, the fact that our country has been at war for over a decade and a half, to finances, and the list goes on. So, all that said… what we know is – anxiety – I’ll call it – significant, constant, or nearly constant worry – is an issue for many many people and it is miserable. One author wrote, “Worry can be one of the most common causes of suffering in the U.S.” Isn’t that an interesting perspective?

What can we do to help ourselves and/or our children with anxiety or worry? We older adults can see that young persons today clearly face more pressure situations than we may have, and everything seems to be moving so much faster and busier. How does one cope and NOT worry or get involved in anxiety?

Let’s start by considering not watching the television news or shows where people are in danger or get hurt. Instead of TV, let’s get outside! One of the most helpful tools I have found is to do something that I enjoy so much that I “lose time” in it. What hobby do you have that you enjoy so much that time “just gets away from you”? Maybe it is working in your garden, or wood carving, or needle work, or a musical instrument. For many today it might be the popular – coloring a picture. But the very best thing I have found for me personally and for clients I have worked with … comes back to purpose. Is there something I can do that is purposeful, especially something that helps someone else? What I know is that if we are busy doing something that we find purpose in, we worry less. This is my little brain telling me – the little bit that I do, can make a difference, and therein I find hope!

How can you help yourself and your children worry less? Get them involved in making something that they enjoy. Help them find something they can do that is purposeful to help someone else, because then they are making a difference, and whether they recognize it or not – they will worry less and have more hope.

I am reading a book about the Shackleton Trans-Antarctic expedition. Their ship became frozen in the ice. This was December 5, 1914 – May 1916 and nobody knew, let alone was going to come and save them. For more than an entire year these men lived in extreme danger and bitter cold. They lived in the ship until it broke up. Then they lived on a half mile wide ice flow, until it became only 200 meters wide. When I think about being in a situation like this I feel anxious! The leader and several of the men eventually risked “the most dangerous seas in the world” in a little life boat and made it back to South Georgia Island. From there they tried three different times, in three different ships, to rescue the other men until they succeeded. I can’t imagine being that cold and that wet and in a situation that seemingly looked like there was no hope to survive, let alone for more than a year! At the same time this was happening, there was an expedition in the Arctic with similar fate, but they didn’t fare as well. The difference was the leaders. Shackleton kept his men focused; busy doing things that would help them get home. Which is like saying – he kept them purposeful and thus hopeful.

One author wrote, “Anxiety is energy without a goal.” So, with this information, give the children, and yourself, a goal to help someone. If we can find purpose, these activities that will divert our attention from our problems, and fears to knowing we have the power to make a difference, then we can cope! And if we can make a difference, maybe we don’t have to worry about everything.

Thankfully we don’t face the dangers of Antarctica, but when persons deal with anxiety, it may seem like it. If you find yourself or a loved one or friend who is suffering from ongoing worry, you might encourage them to talk with someone who is used to helping people who worry. But let me suggest to you, that you make a plan – to intentionally do some fun things with your family and enjoy as much of every moment with them that you can. It will not only build relationships, but help you cope.

Have a wonderful summer and may it be with less worry and more fun because you are working in a purpose!!

Janet Miller MA LPCC