Hope in the Midst of Life ~ October 2017

“You’re Gonna Miss This”

It is so easy to get caught up in the details of the day. The hustle and bustle of “getting there” and “doing this” and “getting that done” sure makes life challenging. So when “I need this,” or “Please, can you help me?” … get thrown in, “challenging” starts to be “this might be crazy”. Those of us who help others who can’t help themselves, also know things like “I HAVE to do this for ____”, “He can’t do it, so I need to” and “Who will do this if I don’t?” – come up in our heads with so much regularity we sometimes think we can’t do it all. Life gets so busy! Just remembering to buy toothpaste, and wash enough underwear for the week become significant accomplishments! Not just getting through the week, but getting through the day, becomes the goal. And then we wake up and start over.

An article appeared in my inbox today. It listed “7 songs that are so happy you will cry” or something like that. So I pulled them up, one at a time on You Tube. I cried. I cried in gratitude for the blessings. I also cried in the grief of missing the times of those particular blessings. And I cried because even though many days I tried to pause and stop time; you know, to look around and take a deep breath and breathe in the moment to burn it forever in my memory… the sights and sounds and smells… because I knew it was all going too fast. Well I am here to tell you – that even though I did that – it went too fast. The details in my day… mostly the things I saw as problems; you know, the deadlines and lists and needs – got in my way of just being thrilled in each moment… and even thankful for the challenges.

As I write this – I am aware that this sounds cliché. We all know time goes fast and yet so many times I have let the “busy” and the “necessary” keep me distracted from the faces in front of me. But lately I see something more… I see people giving their focus to screens instead of faces. I am not saying screens are bad. They are a great way to communicate. But screen time gets in the way of real – face time.

Not to recognize the challenges, and the things that need to be done, might mean that we are not responsible. Oh but to be free enough from those lists and needs, to breathe life in and laugh with joy … and choose the fun thing on a regular basis! The dishes will still be there and somehow the underwear will get washed… Oh the delight in that! And perhaps I am alive even if I don’t read about it on Facebook. I am reminded of statistics I read recently. It turns out that life is not about the big events – the grand vacation to distant lands, and the expensive dinner out. The people who are the happiest – are focused on the little moments of each day. They don’t miss the important little things because of lists; they LIVE in each moment. What is more – they aren’t just bodily present while focused on a screen. They are focused on the real eyes and hearts right in front of them.

I know this is easier said than done… But what would your life and your family be like, if you stopped the business? What if you put your phone down and turned the TV off and you danced in the kitchen with your spouse, or your child? (In whatever way that you dance when nobody else is watching.) What if you began to sing like nobody was listening… you know, from your heart? What if you stopped long enough to listen until those you love had shared all they keep inside because nobody has had the time to hear? What if your life wasn’t about posting on a screen… but celebrating and laughing with those beside you who need not only your physical presence but your attention so desperately?

What if you could live today, right now, in a way that caused you to not only breathe life in and burn the memory into your heart forever, but let you feel the warmth of your loved ones’ presence? AND what if you could PLAY? You know – actually have FUN! Remember the last time you laughed so hard your sides ached and you nearly wet your pants?

Yes, we have to be responsible, especially if we are helping those who can’t help themselves. But what if we could focus on them and not the lists, or screens?

You might take some time to pull some songs up. Listen, and put aside the lists for a while… and then put the screen down and LIVE… because believe it not – “You are going to miss this.” Make this day the memory you want it to be.

“You’re Gonna Miss This” by Trace Adkins
“You Raise Me Up” by Josh Groban
“Live Like You Were Dying” by Tim McGraw
“Home” by Phillip Phillips
“100 Years” by Five for Fighting
“Blessed” by Martina McBride
“I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack
… and so many others.

Janet Miller MA LPCC

Hope in the Midst of Life ~ July 2017

Welcome summer! For many of us, the “weather report” is… hot and sunny with lots of busy young people at home!

I hope this finds you on-purpose, setting some time aside from business and slowing down to be together! Maybe it is a picnic, or just playing catch in the yard or going for a hike or a bike ride.

Perhaps your dream of summer is something like mine… hot, slow and maybe sometimes lazy days of little structure and lots of fun! But what I know is that many people see it differently. Instead of being thrilled to have the “problem” of what to do with the kids… it is more of “another worry”. This, added to an already full plate, can be very challenging.

When I say “worry”, it reminds me of a report I just read that says “anxiety is now the number one mental health problem instead of depression”. Anxiety is characterized by a constant and overwhelming worry and fear, and it is now 800% more prevalent than all forms of cancer. (Mercola) That’s a whole lot of worry!!

Depending what you read, you will find many things listed as the cause; from social media and pressures to succeed, eating too much sugar, dyes and chemicals, not having a healthy gut, the fact that our country has been at war for over a decade and a half, to finances, and the list goes on. So, all that said… what we know is – anxiety – I’ll call it – significant, constant, or nearly constant worry – is an issue for many many people and it is miserable. One author wrote, “Worry can be one of the most common causes of suffering in the U.S.” Isn’t that an interesting perspective?

What can we do to help ourselves and/or our children with anxiety or worry? We older adults can see that young persons today clearly face more pressure situations than we may have, and everything seems to be moving so much faster and busier. How does one cope and NOT worry or get involved in anxiety?

Let’s start by considering not watching the television news or shows where people are in danger or get hurt. Instead of TV, let’s get outside! One of the most helpful tools I have found is to do something that I enjoy so much that I “lose time” in it. What hobby do you have that you enjoy so much that time “just gets away from you”? Maybe it is working in your garden, or wood carving, or needle work, or a musical instrument. For many today it might be the popular – coloring a picture. But the very best thing I have found for me personally and for clients I have worked with … comes back to purpose. Is there something I can do that is purposeful, especially something that helps someone else? What I know is that if we are busy doing something that we find purpose in, we worry less. This is my little brain telling me – the little bit that I do, can make a difference, and therein I find hope!

How can you help yourself and your children worry less? Get them involved in making something that they enjoy. Help them find something they can do that is purposeful to help someone else, because then they are making a difference, and whether they recognize it or not – they will worry less and have more hope.

I am reading a book about the Shackleton Trans-Antarctic expedition. Their ship became frozen in the ice. This was December 5, 1914 – May 1916 and nobody knew, let alone was going to come and save them. For more than an entire year these men lived in extreme danger and bitter cold. They lived in the ship until it broke up. Then they lived on a half mile wide ice flow, until it became only 200 meters wide. When I think about being in a situation like this I feel anxious! The leader and several of the men eventually risked “the most dangerous seas in the world” in a little life boat and made it back to South Georgia Island. From there they tried three different times, in three different ships, to rescue the other men until they succeeded. I can’t imagine being that cold and that wet and in a situation that seemingly looked like there was no hope to survive, let alone for more than a year! At the same time this was happening, there was an expedition in the Arctic with similar fate, but they didn’t fare as well. The difference was the leaders. Shackleton kept his men focused; busy doing things that would help them get home. Which is like saying – he kept them purposeful and thus hopeful.

One author wrote, “Anxiety is energy without a goal.” So, with this information, give the children, and yourself, a goal to help someone. If we can find purpose, these activities that will divert our attention from our problems, and fears to knowing we have the power to make a difference, then we can cope! And if we can make a difference, maybe we don’t have to worry about everything.

Thankfully we don’t face the dangers of Antarctica, but when persons deal with anxiety, it may seem like it. If you find yourself or a loved one or friend who is suffering from ongoing worry, you might encourage them to talk with someone who is used to helping people who worry. But let me suggest to you, that you make a plan – to intentionally do some fun things with your family and enjoy as much of every moment with them that you can. It will not only build relationships, but help you cope.

Have a wonderful summer and may it be with less worry and more fun because you are working in a purpose!!

Janet Miller MA LPCC

Rumored Sale to ProMedica Completely False

It has been brought to our attention that a rumor is currently circulating that Sara’s Garden is no longer a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization and has sold out to ProMedica.

Our board of directors wants to address the claim immediately and put it to rest. This rumor is completely false and goes against everything Sara’s Garden stands for. Clients with non-reimbursable conditions and diagnoses would no longer have access to the life changing services we are here to provide. A move like this would mean that we would no longer be able to serve the very clients and families we were created to help and are driven to serve.

We are not sure how or where this rumor started but wanted to let all of our clients, families and supporters know that there is absolutely no truth in it. Our mission has not changed, and that mission is unwavering. If you have any questions regarding this matter please don’t hesitate to contact us.

Sincerely,

William Patrick Frank President, Board of Directors

Hope in the Midst of Life ~ April 2017

What a winter we’ve had! Not much snow, but it seems like a lot of sickness! I don’t know about you, but I’d rather shovel snow than sit up with a sick child, or feel miserable myself! As I write this, my daffodils are starting to bloom and I noticed yesterday that the hyacinths are budding! Finally, there is great promise of spring!

I remember as a child, my mom would do “spring cleaning”. Lately I’m not so great at this tradition. I don’t know if you do spring cleaning, but I’d like to suggest a couple things, and they aren’t about the dirt on our windows, the dust on the tables, or the cobwebs behind the chairs. What if we could get ourselves cleaned up?

More and more we read about how important our “gut-health” is. Science is learning that the strength of our immune system and the health of our thinking are very much related to the health of our intestinal system. According to what I am learning – plain Greek yogurt with honey instead of sugar in it, and maybe with some fresh or frozen fruit thrown in, may be a great way to get our systems into a healthier place where we can fight disease and have positive moods! (Perlmutter and Mercola)

So you might grab some real yogurt, and let’s talk about our thinking… How are your thoughts?

Good science also tells us that resilient people, (those who survive through difficult situations) are able to recognize that life is hard in the moment, but they continue to hope that things will get better!

As caregivers, it can be easy to be focused on the miserableness of the challenges, and the needs of those we are helping. But what if our minds and hearts, and immune systems would be better off if we just acknowledge the difficulties and then focus on having hope? Just like my “gut” may need yogurt, my mind needs refocusing and refreshing!

Recently I have found that some short journaling really helps me unwind and refreshes me. It is a way to remind myself of the things that give me joy. So I offer you a few questions to think about your “important things” and journal them as you wish. By the way, if you doodle and color pictures beside your answers – you will get even more out of this. (Also, if you can get your beautiful ones to consider some of these at their levels, the better off they will be too. 🙂 So grab a notebook and maybe some yogurt…

What are your five favorite scents?
What are your five favorite sounds?
If you could do absolutely any five things you wanted today – what would they be?
What is your favorite song right now?
What are the five most important things ever spoken to you?
Who are the five most impactful people in your life?
Ten things that you are grateful for.
Five things that give you comfort. (Remember to do these on your tougher days.)
Three things that make you laugh.
Three things that say “I love you” to you.
Three things that say “I love you” to those beautiful ones around you.
What would help you the most right now? (Aside from a million dollars and your own plane to your own island! J)
What one positive change would you like to work on to improve your attitude and your day?
What three fairly simple things could you reasonably add into your week that would help you cope?
What do you enjoy making, and when was the last time you made it?
Who do you need to thank in your life?
Where is your favorite place to relax and just be?

We know, as caregivers, life has joyous moments. But often the day-to-day can be very challenging. It is in those challenging times, we have to be aware of the challenges enough to purposely think of some of the answers to these questions. And then, we will cope much better. Consider “spring cleaning” for your health; a little yogurt and a little more thoughtfulness about your “important things” will go a long way! I see dust blowing away already! Happy Spring!

Janet Miller MA LPCC

Hope in the Midst of Life ~ January 2017

Of Resolutions and Cups

I am not a caregiver of children any more. I am, however, a caregiver of parents. I need to say that first, before I say the next things, because this simple fact has such impact on all of my life!

If I have a “cup”, caregiving, despite the fact that there are joys, mostly empties my cup. Please don’t get me wrong… It is not all about ME – or I wouldn’t be the helper I am. BUT at the same time, it NEEDS to be about me. (It NEEDS to be about YOU too!) I love those I help; so much that my life is nearly engulfed by their needs alone. I am guessing that this also how it is for you! As I sat down to write this article, I noticed a picture on my bulletin board that says… “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Huh. Not sure I have been doing much “pouring” lately; least-wise not so well. How about you?

Here it is, almost the New Year. … and I am aware that it is time to think about New Year’s resolutions. I know this, (we all know this,) thanks to the many commercials like the one my Mom watches, with skinny girls in tights, twisting on plastic boards with big smiles, all-the-while – not sweating. They tell us, “If you just get this plastic board, in two easy payments, you will be skinny. What’s more… It is sooo easy anyone can do it, and you will find the happiness you’ve always longed for!”

“Are they kidding?” Despite my opinion, they are probably selling thousands of plastic boards, which undoubtedly take a lot of practice just to be able to stand on, let alone to actually twist on. Sometimes we are like that… we are looking for that something – to be more beautiful, to be happy, and to have fun… Some of us will even purchase a chunk of plastic to attempt to fill our empty “cups”.

Seriously, writing goals has always helped me focus and accomplish things… I need goals like – more sleep, more exercise, better eating, etc. But the real issue, the reason I seem to be avoiding this process nearly all together this year, is that there are some things that I have wanted to accomplish for a very long time… These are things that I start and don’t seem to find my way back to. I have good reasons of course. Things like – “Others need my help”, and perhaps more often – I am just flat out “too tired!” (Pun intended!!)

Honestly, I am afraid to write my really important goals down – largely because then I risk the disappointment of, yet AGAIN, not accomplishing them!

As caregivers, you understand what I am saying, I am sure. The ones we love and care for – come first – and our “stuff” always waits. Maybe the idea – “I could be two people and still not get done,” even comes to mind.

I’ve given my resolutions/goals much thought in the last few weeks and maybe I’ve figured something out… I just managed (a great accomplishment for me) to put a quilt in the frame for my first grandchild. I sit and quilt … and the motion and the “making” are restoring and refreshing to my soul.

The thing is, a quilt, even if it is crib size, is not a thing done quickly, just like my other important goals. I can’t sit at the frame one or even ten sittings and get it all quilted… and that is okay with me. If you quilt you know that it is the process that is almost as great as the finished product. So I sit down a bit and work on it here a few minutes and there a few minutes. As I quilted the other night, I had this thought… “What if I work on those things – my resolutions/my heart’s goals – like I am quilting… a little bit at a time?” (No Rhodes Scholar idea here; should have had it a long time ago!) BUT, what if I look at even my big goals like this??!!

I know this can work! Clearly not taking the time – even little bits at a time, to work on my goals, doesn’t get me one step closer to accomplishing them. And it sure doesn’t fill my cup! What if – a little bit at a time, I could work on my goals and actually do things that fill my cup? !! It may sound like a no-brainer to you – but I am just dancing with the possibilities!

So I invite you to consider: What are your resolutions, your goals? Can you start them and leave them “handy to get to” and return to them regularly, even if it is ten minutes here, and five minutes there?

Go fill your cup; even if it is little bits at a time. By the way, there is no guilt involved in this… because “you can’t pour from an empty cup.”

May your cup be filling up this New Year!

Janet Miller MA LPCC

Hope in the Midst of Life ~ October 2016

One of my favorite quotes is, “Was it five minutes of awful, or was it five minutes of awful you milked all day?”

Dr. Caroline Leaf writes in her book, Think and Eat Yourself Smart, that she often presents on the negative effects of drinking a soda… a soda with 10 teaspoons of sugar. She gives a detailed explanation of what happens in our bodies, the first minute we drink it up to hours later. Nothing about her rendition of the effects of soda is positive; but at the very next break of the training, there is a line of people out in the lobby – buying soda!

I know as a parent I have experienced the same thing. I would say something over and over to my kids… and it didn’t seem to matter, whatever I am saying to do, or not to do, just seemed to (as my mother used to say) “go in one ear and out the other,” and they would do what they wanted to do anyway! (Okay, not ALWAYS, but often!).

Dr. Leaf says that what I know about soda is based on the commercials about soda that are stored in my brain. “If I drink soda, I will be satisfied and I will be happy.” This is what is already stored in my brain, so when I hear someone say “soda”, I immediately need one… because I want to be “satisfied and happy.” It takes some time to learn something other-than what we have been told over and over.

Probably, most of us don’t think about how we think. But what if this is the way our brains work with everything?

Typically, when difficulties come up in our lives, we immediately pull up the things we already know about “life is difficult”. For many of us, this is frustrated and angry thinking that leans hard toward hopeless. Well, “that is how it always is”. Anyone identifying with this?? It is easier to pick up the hopeless message when our lives feel too full and we are nearly overwhelmed. You know, the days or weeks where there seems to be more financial issues than normal, the kids seem to be having more problems, and “I just can’t seem to get anything done.”

But what if we start teaching our brains how to think differently? In previous newsletters, we’ve talked about listing 3 things we are thankful for every day. We could do this at the family dinner table – everyone taking a turn. The great news is – when we are thankful, we can’t be hopeless. Also when we think of things that we are thankful for, our biochemistry becomes positive and our whole body becomes healthier and our outlook becomes more positive.

Something else we can do…Maybe on the way home, or at dinner, or while doing the dishes, we could think about the best thing that happened today. Why? Because this will cause that positive memory to become stronger, and it shifts our biochemistry to positive, which is life-giving to every cell of our body. Some days – nothing seems to be going well; so on those days, I review a favorite memory. It might be something someone said to me, an accomplishment, a wedding, a baby, you get the idea. Just by thinking about it, I can make that memory stronger; and again, I have positive biochemistry so I am healthier. At the same time, I am teaching myself to focus on the positive. I am not suggesting we live in denial and ignore the issues. But I am inviting you to consider focusing on the positive.

It is easy to carry around the “five minutes of awful” and dwell on that. (“Ruminate” is the professional term.) This is that constant focus of going over and over something. And funny thing, that “something” is rarely positive.

I invite you to stop, several times a day and consider what you are thinking about. Where is your focus? Is it on the five minutes of “awful” or are you celebrating the joy, even when it might be hard to see at the moment?

Janet Miller MA LPCC

Hope in the Midst of Life ~ July 2016

In the last newsletter, I suggested that you all are heroes – the way you give and give, putting your children before yourself. In the movies, heroes always seem to do what they do, on their own. They conquer every obstacle without ANY help. In reality, however, heroes often require a great deal of help to do what they do. But since we don’t see that… We think we should be self-sufficient as well.

The fact is, according to Dr. Marlo Archer’s blog; “This country was founded on principles of independence and self-sufficiency. As a result, we have raised a whole nation of people who believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness.” Dr. Archer goes on to talk about the settlers who came here. She says “We often forget that few of them lived to see a 40th birthday, that men were so desperate for wives that they’d buy them sight-unseen, and that people had 8-9 children because 2-3 of them would routinely die. We also tend to forget that there were several groups of people already living here and doing quite well by relying on each other. We also tend to forget that the settlers needed other people so badly that they kidnapped some and enslaved them. So, the whole notion that American’s don’t need anyone and are self-sufficient is something that was never true to begin with, but we, for some reason, continue to teach it to our children.”

Dr. Archer goes on to talk about specialization. That said, I might know how to bake and apple pie, but I can’t fix my computer past turning it off and then back on! The reality is – we need each other!

According to the “Provisional Summary Health Statistics for U.S. Adults, National Health Interview survey of 2008, 2009,” “Caregivers of children are twice as likely as the general adult population to say they are in fair/poor health.” I’m guessing that each one of you can understand why this might be! Perhaps this is a giant red flag waving in the breeze.

Even so, it can be very difficult to ask for help. It is one thing to ask for help ONE time, or even two, but to just keep needing it! … “Come on, other people are busy too.” But your situation isn’t changing… this is long term life…. Not something that you deal with today and it is done and no more help is needed! About this time, guilt sets in, because we “should be able to deal with our responsibilities.”… and we may begin to feel like a burden to others.

Have you ever taken a look around your life and thought – “I’ve never pictured this!”?

You are not thinking – “I haven’t found my dream job yet.” But rather, – “I haven’t found the sea yet, let alone my ‘ship’ that is supposed to ‘come in’!” We never pictured not being at least reasonably self-sufficient. It is hard to be dependent on others, even for small things. At the same time, one person can only do so much.

How do you know you need help? Is it obvious like – you can’t be in two places at once, or less obvious like… your muscles are sore and you’ve had headaches lately… or how about not getting exercise this week, or at all? On top of that, we know that children with special needs are sensitive to what is happening around them. They can sense when you aren’t doing so well, sometimes before you do, and they may become anxious. I’m sure that will not lighten your load!

So maybe you want to take a self- inventory sometime before you wake up and realize you are overwhelmed and life seems to be falling apart. When was the last time you did something FUN without the beautiful one(s) you are caring for? How long ago was it? We know that if we have a hobby of making something – and we spend, even 10 minutes a couple times a week, it helps us heal and it helps us cope. That said, you are probably thinking… “Hobby!!? I don’t’ have time for that!” But what if I tell you – this hobby – that actually TAKES more of your time will HELP you cope? It’s true. What should it be? As long as you make something – music, art, food, coloring, etc., it doesn’t matter. The only rule is – you have to enjoy it! Just make something!

What if there’s another way to look at asking for help?… I’m guessing you might say, being a caregiver for your child is difficult, but you wouldn’t say your child is a burden, even if in all honesty, you are totally exhausted. Your children are gifts! But even gifts can sometimes be over whelming and exhausting.

What if you decide to stop feeling bad about needing help and are free enough to offer others the opportunity to be blessed by helping you? Have you ever thought that by not asking others to help… you are actually depriving them of blessing? I read somewhere that “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Maybe the challenge really is our mindsets! What if we started celebrating the opportunities we could offer others to be blessed by helping?

I know you are probably laughing and thinking, “You have no idea how much blessing I could offer! This is ridiculous!” But actually, I’m serious. What if it never was about being a burden – but is an opportunity to allow others to be able to help, so they can grow?

Have the courage to ASK and offer someone a chance to be blessed. It will help them more than it helps you.

Janet Miller MA LPCC

Hope in the Midst of Life ~ April 2016

I hope this finds you remembering to list three things you are thankful for each day! Maybe you remember that assignment from the last newsletter? I find I need to remind myself of healthy, important things – in the midst of caregiving when it often feels like my time is not my own. I am not a caregiver of children any longer… I am a caregiver of parents. It is different than what most of you do, but there are probably similarities.

As I mentioned, I often feel that my time is not my own. As I consider what you might be facing, I am guessing you might feel that way sometimes too. Caregiving; we wouldn’t consider NOT doing it, but sometimes, it is totally overwhelming. Yet in the challenges I am surprised to find amazing gifts.

Recently I was reminded of a precious story in my life. I offer it to you – because it just may strike a treasure in you as well, and because we all need to be reminded – that in everyday life, which often looks mundane and far from thrilling… in that place where you find yourself often overwhelmed – you are heroes. True heroes – the ones who fix things as best as possible… who don’t go away, even when the moment may be so far past “ugly” you can’t even see “ugly” from there.

I journal sometimes; write “the important stuff” down, so as not to forget. The other day I was going through an old journal and I found one of my favorite “mom stories”. … It seems like yesterday, but it was actually years ago, when my son was playing little league. He hit the ball toward short, and ran to first… The first baseman ran to the base to catch the throw for the out. They collided; HARD. He was laid out, horizontal, high in the air before he landed – even HARDER …. And he didn’t move. I was on my way to him before he hit the ground. Someone asked him –if he was okay and he told her…“No. But my Mom will come.”

“My mom will come.” How I have treasured those words he spoke that day from the dirt; such an honor to be the trusted one… the one that no matter what – would be there. “My Mom will come.”

As I sat with my old journal and paused to go over that precious memory one more time, it hit me… My Mom used to come too.

Just recently, I recognize that I have grown wiser – You all, caregivers of children, know this wisdom well… gained in the joys and sorrows of caregiving- the losses and the gifts. I look in the mirror and someone who has laughed much, and lately cried too often, looks back at me. I am “old” now, and Mom doesn’t come fix things anymore. Hard lesson this is. Tears roll down my checks yet again in this caregiving life I lead. My Dad, my siblings and I, we go to Mom….. but the days when — “My Mom will come” …. Have now passed.

There were many times mom came … to school when I forgot something, to meetings, to piano recitals, and then to take care of my own children when I went off to coach. She came to fix things that were broken and mend things that were torn…. when the sink clogged and the house smelled, and whenever my son took apart appliances and had pieces left! I called her when I couldn’t get a stain out, and when the freezer died. She was even “wildlife patrol” the day I found a baby possum in our garage! She came when I needed money, and when the car died along the road. She came when she could help us – always to fix things for her children. She taught me that one went to church even when one didn’t feel like going! And that there comes a time when one just does the hard thing – because it needs doing. She taught me that loving people is helping people – and feeding them.

My Mom doesn’t fix anything anymore… and she can no longer remember most of the times she did. But every once in awhile, my mom is still here – I see her in the eyes that too often lately seem vacant…. And she says something dry and laughs like she used to… and for a short moment… my mom is my Mom…. The one who came.

Not too long ago, I toured New Horizons and had the opportunity to see your beautiful children. I not only saw the wonderful things New Horizons staff does, but I had to think of each of you. You are this dependable parent for the ones you care for…You are the ones that no matter what – your children know – you will be there.

Absolutely and completely EXHAUSTING – YES! But one of the greatest treasures of our lives!!

Thank you for being heroes for your children and always coming. Now in this moment do not make less of your heroism. I didn’t say you were perfect… I said you are heroes because you are dependable. And that – in all the challenges – is truly a gift that you give over and over. Thank you for always coming for your children. It is amazing what you do.

Janet Miller MA LPCC

Hope in the Midst of Life ~ Jan. 2016

Holiday times always look so pretty on TV, but while there may be moments of joy, not every part is always warm and fuzzy for most of us. What I know about life is that it is good and joyous and incredible! It is also disappointing, and very hard at times. So how do we keep on?

Let me introduce myself, I am Janet Miller the Employer Outreach Coordinator at Hospice of Northwest Ohio. What that means is that I get to create programs and teach them to whatever group gracious enough to have me! I teach about stress management, with the focus being – how to help caregivers take care of themselves so that they don’t just survive the caregiving, but that they thrive in it. It is my privilege to write to you – persons who are caregivers to wonderful people who often times require a lot of help. I don’t have to tell you that you have stress. But through this newsletter, I would like to give you some ideas that are not only do-able but actually make a difference.

We all know that we should be positive. But what nobody tells us is that there are simple things we can do – so that our brain chemistry improves and then we just ARE more positive. We won’t have to wear fake smiles.

Every day, list (in your head or on paper) three very specific things you are thankful for. (Not… “I am thankful for my husband.” But… “I am thankful for my husband who cleaned up the kitchen last night.). Once you’ve listed a specific thing – there are no repeats. We can also help our children to do this. It’s the fastest way of teaching optimism.
Pick a good memory you have, and review it. This causes our biochemistry to become positive and helps us stay healthy. It also makes the memory stronger in our brain. If we think about something positive or ”happy” before we study something – learning will be much easier.
Exercise. Even if you go for a gentle walk you will feel better. 15 minutes of cardiovascular exercise a day is the equivalent of taking an anti-depressant. Your brain gets to record a victory and becomes more positive because you did it! Plus your cardiovascular system is healthier! (Shawn Achor)

May you choose to live more intentionally amongst the list of “have-tos” and “shoulds” AND, “on purpose” begin to do these things in your holiday time and throughout the year! You will feel better!

Janet Miller MA LPCC

Why Essential Oils are Essential (Part 2)

What are Pure, Therapeutic-Grade Essential Oils? As we mentioned in last month’s newsletter, essential oils are the volatile liquids that are distilled from plants (including their respective parts such as seeds, bark, leaves, stems, roots, flowers, fruit, etc.). One of the factors that determines the purity and therapeutic value of an oil is its chemical constituents.

These constituents can be affected by a vast number of variables including: the part(s) of the plant from which the oil was produced, soil condition, fertilizer (organic or chemical), geographical region, climate, altitude, harvest season and methods, and distillation process.

As we begin to understand the power of essential oils in the realm of personal, holistic health care, we recognize the absolute necessity for obtaining the purest therapeutic-grade essential oils possible. Chemists can replicate some of the known individual constituents, but they have yet to successfully recreate complete essential oils in the laboratory.

What Benefits do Pure, Therapeutic-Grade Essential Oils Provide? Essential oils embody the regenerating, oxygenating and immune-system strengthening properties of plants. Essential oils are so small in molecular size that they can quickly penetrate the skin. They are lipid-soluble and are capable of penetrating cell walls, even if they have hardened because of oxygen deficiency. In fact, essential oils can affect every cell of the body within 20 minutes and then be metabolized like other nutrients.

Essential oils contain oxygen molecules that help to transport nutrients to the starving human cells. Because a nutritional deficiency is an oxygen deficiency, disease begins when the cells lack the oxygen for proper nutrient assimilation. By providing the needed oxygen, essential oils also work to stimulate the immune system. They can play a vital role in supporting, affecting, and maintaining overall wellness.

Essential oils are aromatic. When diffused, they provide air purification by:

Removing metallic particles and toxins from the air;
Increasing atmospheric oxygen;
Increasing ozone and negative ions in the area, which inhibits bacterial growth;
Destroying odors from mold, cigarettes and animals; and
Filling the air with a fresh, aromatic scent.

Essential oils have a biochemical frequency that is several times greater than the frequency of herbs, food and even the human body. Clinical research has shown that essential oils can quickly raise the frequency of the human body, restoring it to its normal, healthy level. Be sure to check back next quarter as we discuss frequency and how it pertains to essential oils.

Want More Information? If you would like more information on the science behind essential oils, the many different ways they can benefit, or would like information on where to purchase essential oils please don’t hesitate to contact Val at 419.335.7272 or via email at [email protected].

We are holding an introductory class to essential oils called “Living with Essential Oils” this coming Saturday, January 24th. Click on the button below for more detailed information on the class an instructions on how to register.

REGISTER NOW